The Mountains are Calling

Do you remember the last time you were completely alone with just your thoughts to keep you company? No phone, no internet, no distractions. It seems a little intimidating at first, to even think about processing life without our handy dandy smartphones. We have become so accustomed to numbing ourselves with these artificial "company keepers" that when we are finally alone, it feels like we constantly need to be talking to someone, doing something, keeping busy.

I just spent five days in the wide open wilderness of the Colorado Flat Tops. With no phone, internet, or anything but real, live humans (and a human-like dog) to keep me company. And, of course, a constant stream of internal dialogue. What I realized during these five days boils down to this:
1. Humans are impressive creatures. We think deeply, love deeply, and are always trying to better ourselves.
2. Family, whether blood-related or not, is always the source of a smile and infinite words of wisdom.
3. It's okay to miss someone so much it hurts, because then you know how much they truly mean to you.
4. It's not okay to eat PowerBars on an empty stomach. You will throw up. At least I did.
5. Never underestimate the power of yourself. You are always stronger than you think.
6. Nature is astonishingly awesome. Cherish it. Cherish your time in it. Revel in the little things.

I can honestly say that the past five days have changed me for the better. I have been doing this annual backpacking trip since I was a freshman in high school, but it has never impacted me the way it did this year. I grew closer to my family, and farther away from my insecurities and worries. Being in nature has the impressive ability to change how we think about pretty much everything. We become essentialists. There are less things to distract us from enjoying the current moment. We are finally present within ourselves: how our muscles, bones, and mind work together to propel us forward; how our breath matches our movement; the way our lungs settle and and strengthen after gasping for air just moments before.

By the end of the five days I was both sad and happy that we were packing up camp to head home. "Happy" because my sleeping pad had a hole in it, and sleeping on bare ground is stiff and freezing. Also happy because I was ready for food with texture (although the freeze dried food we had wasn't all that bad. And my brother caught two fish so yum.) I was "sad" because I wasn't ready to leave the lifestyle I had so quickly become accustomed to. A little, orange two-person tent had become my home, my shelter, my safe spot. I felt the calmest I had felt in months. So naturally, of course I didn't want to go back to the hustle and bustle of "real-world" life.

But then I realized: why can't that sense of presence and calm become my real-world life? It will take more work to distance myself from technology and every day distractions (ironic that I'm writing this on a laptop and posting it to the internet? I don't know.). I will have to devote time to my internal dialogue. I will have to really stop to appreciate all the little things in life, because they are truly what make life so grand.

I could not be more grateful for my time spent out in the woods this past week. It has made me a fresher, happier, and more appreciative person. I came back smelling absolutely offensive, but radiating a happiness I hadn't felt in a long time. So yay to mountains, yay to backpacking, and yay to new perspectives!

Back To Basics

It's been about a month since I set foot back into the good ol' US of A. Things I was most happy about upon landing:
1. My AWESOMESAUCE boyfriend waiting at the arrivals gate after a hellish wait in customs to pick me up and drive me three hours back home.
2. Mexican chain restaurants.
3. Colorado people in general. You guys are really the coolest, most down to earth, friendly folks on this planet. I'm so proud to live here!
4. My (eight year old) puppy dog, Thunder, greeting me with kisses and so much love at the door.
5. MY BED. Oh, my bed. Three foam toppers and a memory foam pillow. YES.

I've slowly but surely settled into my summer life here in the boat. I'm working at a little coffee shop downtown called MountainBrew, where I started as a baking intern my senior year of high school. I've been doing my best to socialize, but it's hard when a) I have to wake up at 5:30 AM for my job and b) all I seem to talk about is travel. People only want to hear so much. Most people at least. When people ask me how my trip was, it's challenging to really describe it in words that fit into a small talk conversation. What am I supposed to say besides inadequate adjectives like: amazing, indescribable, really-super-tremendously-awesome, etc. But there are a few priceless individuals who ask questions deeper than "how was it?" and who really want to know. And I am happy to blabber away about every little detail. But anyway.

In many ways the transition back to home was really easy for me. By the end of my adventure, I was very ready for the normalcy and ease of my life in America. I cried when the plane landed in Denver, hearing the time and temperature, the amount of traffic on I-70, and seeing those weird white tents that apparently look like mountains (they don't). When I saw Mason waiting for me at arrivals, holding a sign that said "Welcome Home" in every language from every country I had visited (how did I find someone so cute?!) I cried again. I was back in the land of comfort, ease, and Hot Cheetos. I felt good. I felt tremendously happy. I went back to work after one day of adjusting to the time change. It wasn't all that hard, considering I had to be up early and my body thought it was 1:30 in the afternoon anyway. I kept myself busy: working, catching up with friends, exploring and enjoying the beauty of the Colorado outdoors.

Slowly, though, the "newness" of being home began to wear off. I started to miss Prague! Every passing day, I missed it more and more. I still do. I miss the lifestyle. I miss the people. I miss the challenges that made me stronger, and the freedom I had to be purely and uninhibitedly myself. My time there was less mundane, scheduled, and filled with moments where I felt I was "supposed" to be doing something. It was filled with spontaneity, and a peace inside me that I was always in the right place at the right time doing what I needed for myself. I can honestly say I grew into a person I fell in love with while I was abroad. I am stronger, more confident, and more determined to create a life meaningful to me (instead of basing my decisions on what others think.) This is what I miss most about Prague. I didn't learn so much in school as I did about myself, life, and others. In the end, isn't that what truly matters?

So now I'm getting back to the basics of being home, and coming to the not so super realization that I'm home for a while. Home is nothing like Prague, and it shouldn't be. If I had one wish in the whole world, though, it would be this: I would pack up everything that is dear to me (my family, my closest friends, my dog, Mason) and move them all abroad. That right there would be my perfect life. But this home is where I am right now, and that is okay. I am surrounded by people who love me. I have never been happier or more grateful for the life I have been given.

So thank you, Prague, for all that you taught me. One day I will come back to you, that much is definite. But until then, I promise to make each day a blessing, to marvel at the little things, and to never ever stop loving and learning.